And yet the fact of me, here, defies what I expect. What we expect.I am, of course, merely delaying the moment when my conversation withmyself will ne...d to expand into dialogue.Delaying, I stay in my apartment. Stay in the old terrycloth bathrobethat I'd had for years, so that I need not start the conversation byhaving to chose between the new clothes that now fit or the old ones thatstill fill my closet.Delaying, I call in sick to the tape-recorded message line at work. Let's say I have a. She was my life. She had taken me down paths of learning I would never explore myself. She has freed me to be a better person than I was before I met her. She has also revealed parts of myself to me that I would rather have not known. She was the smoke of a drug I wished to suck inside myself and never let go of.And now I was with her again. Riding in the car, watching the wipers move rhythmically, I did something totally uncharacteristic, and removed a cigarette from her purse and lit it,. More

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