I think I began hating myself. I had no integrity, no dignity. I could be manipulated, controlled, by someone who was supposed to be a student of mine.... I saw the shaving cream. Of course, I used it. Very little had grown, but I thought it would be safe to both avoid allowing it to poke me today, and this way Shanda would be pleased and, perhaps, not be a total bitch. Something inside my chest melted into sludge as I realized I would have to put effort not only into doing as she said, but. I’m still here,’ I laughed. When I reached twenty years, I was up for a parole. I went to the parole board and answered all their questions. I can’t tell you how excited I was that I might be getting out. My hopes were dashed when my parole was denied. It was like my life had ended. It happened again on my twenty-first year, again the twenty-second year. The twenty-third year I asked why I kept getting turned down? The board told me that I had no plans. No place to live or no job plans. They. More

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