Clearly not all of usdeveloped at the same rate and I wanted to make sure that I didn't stayone of the "skinny ones." At first the weightlifting didn'... seem to makemuch difference and after about six months I was thinking about quitting.Shortly after that, while my arms hadn't changed, my chest seemed to be alittle fuller. "Great" I thought, and increased the duration andintensity of my workouts.But after several more months, it became apparent that what I thought washappening, in fact wasn't. Now I would never get the chance to tell him everything that needed to be said. I clutch my pillow tight to my body squeezing as if it were him. Tears roll down my face. Lying myself back down against the pillows I cried myself to sleep. The next morning I wake up praying that last night had just been a terrible nightmare but knowing damn well it had not been. My baby cousin was truly gone. The young man I considered my brother from the very start was dead and I would never get to see him. More

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