A small portion of death, less drastic than taking it all at once, yet somehow soothing at the same time. It reminded me also of other things… of fo...mer lovers who’d smoked, it was a little comforting to have that connection, even if it were for so brief an instant. The wind seemed to smoke the cigarette for me while I contemplated… it certainly didn’t give me as much time to think as the last cigarette… but that was just as well. I finally patted the cigarette out on my hand, cursing myself. That’s in my rules. Permission to do anything and everything. Next day, he called me early in the morning. Around 5 am. It made me shocked as it was the weekend. He asked for ropes. I said I have woolen threads.He said it will work. And sent me a photo which was a picture of self-bondage. I hesitated before. But he convinced me. As woolen threads were soft it felt really good. He commanded me to wear it the whole day. I did the same. Whenever I use to bend down it used to go directly to my. More

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