" After placing an ad in the Village Voice I sat back and waited for orders to pour in like fan mail to Brad Pitt. It instead trickled like fan mail t... Zasu Pitts (paging IMDB ap).I did eventually get my first party request in Queens. So I packed up my party favors and rode a train across town. Once there I sought out the locale of my philanthropic efforts: the Dystrophied Arms Retirement Home and Mausoleum. My hopes for riches were dashed but I kept a stiff-upper-lip. A Granny Clampett wannabe. Pale, faintly luminous globes.Frightening in their blankness. The boys were standing to either side ofthe tank, looking expectantly up at me."Akaguchi," I breathed.The boys smiled, in unison. They spoke, but I knew that the voice reallycame from the figure in the tank."YES. WE ARE AKAGUCHI."Suddenly, I felt absurd, standing in my skimpy bikini. I wrapped my armsaround my chest.How ironic. In the kind of superspy moment that hardly ever happens, Iwas playing the wrong part. The dolly bird. I. More

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