The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the...man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire. Pick one. Fumble one. Sack one. Pick two. Sack two, and three. Sack four, fumble two, and touchdown one. I had the greatest game any safety had played in school history. I partially paralyzed the poor bastard on one fumble, and guarded their top wide out, snagging two picks. Four sacks in, I was all conference player of the week. The school would take my jersey after the game, and frame it in their trophy hall. The next week was spirit week. Everyone wore school green and white, crazy costumes. More

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