"You figure on standing round all night or you going to fuck my boys?" Pa asked."You expect me to fuck all these morons?" Ludmilla asked."Not all at o...e time obviously," Pa replied."Good because when I get spunk in my ear I not hear properly for a week!" Ludmilla replied without thinking."You a whore or something back home?" Grandpa asked."No, I am not whore," Ludmilla protested, "I am trained prostitute third class, I train two years with the KGB!" "Kansas Girl's Band?" Grandma asked."Russian. "Do you want to stand as president of the MCR?" Simon asked one evening as they lay together in Sally's bed."MCR?" asked Sally, who for a moment wondered whether Simon was talking about a biotech company. "Oh, the Middle Common Room. I'm not sure. It could be a lot of work." It isn't at all," said Simon. "I've been doing it for the past year and I think you'd be ideal to take over the role. It'd look perfect on your CV. Employers care about that kind of shit. It shows maturity and leadership. More

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