----------------------Laying awake that evening, I could not stop thinking of what Alwyn hadtold me. I had never guessed the patience she had had to p...actice, thepain of being pushed away, and the frustration of coming close to victory,yet being repelled. I could not imagine five or more such decades, evengood ones. To wait for so long in continuing defeat was incomprehensibleto me. She had never acted as though defeated, though; that was whatreally amazed me. She had a quality of character. I didn’t worry too much, I was enjoying myself and with the mask, no one would recognise me. So I have been going once every so many weeks since then. Being spanked is the only way I am able to release my passions. I think I have to be punished for being naughty before I can be naughty, even though my rational thought knows masturbation is perfectly normal. Every time I wore that outfit, mask, skirt, top I saw myself as being the woman I had watched all those years ago. I wasn’t Jenny the. More

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