I knew it was a mistake but I was sick of being poor. It didn't make things any better. I could barely tolerate Stan and I think after a while he felt...the same way about me. The icing on the cake is when he found out we couldn't have kids. It went downhill fast then. We had a farm and it was doing great until then. That's when he started drinking and after that it was me who did all the work. Sharon must not have told you that I wasn't quite 26 years old when a tractor turned over on me. I. He had to learn how to control exactly when the shift happened or he would never get anything done when Ellen was around.He tried variously adjusting where he looked and where his thoughts were focused, trying to figure out exactly how much he could attend to either Ellen or Jan before he was changed. It was not encouraging.Old Jake looked at the back of Ellen’s head but kept his attention on Jan’s emotions. She was worried and irritated. He could understand that, but it was going to take some. More

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