I left. I died obsessed and madly in love with the boy who lives in that house over there. Right there. He never even knew I existed. But I had these ...xtreme feelings. The bits and pieces I never bothered to put into words. It's so powerful, what I feel. That's why I believe my actions still have meaning. I know he will feel me. I just know..."I took a deep breath, of nothing. I felt a thumping in my chest – a ghostly fake heart. I was so excited. And I began my final and longest journey alone.. What really makes me mad is the fact that I had fucked afew big-dicked guys and loved it. It was just a feelingyou couldn’t explain. I also knew Jared had never givenme that feeling. I guess it was the way he treated mewith respect and kindness that made me do it.All the guys with big cocks would treat you like shit,because they knew you’d come back to them. The sad partis, it’s true. I’ve let more than one guy treat me likeshit, and I would take it too, because I knew. More

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