Sexuality had become both a form of comfort and a currency, and I had been lucky to escape into the safety of the temple before my age would have forc...d me to trade my body. My heart started to beat hard. The images still wouldn’t let me go, and my mind embellished what it had seen; red skin that rubbed against pale one, hands that roamed and squeezed; fingers with pointy nails that painted fiery trails over forbidden parts; his manhood, standing huge and enticing. “I will!” My own voice,. “Look at your man. Now look at me. Now back at your man. Now back at me. Sadly, he isn’t me.” Sad indeed. I was tempted to go into another fantasy. Maybe one with that “man on the horse” but I decided not to. That was beneath my dignity. “I’m not that kind of woman” I reminded myself. “I’m classy. I’m beautiful. I’m married. I have wonderful k**s. I go to church. I’m too good for those kinds of thoughts.”I reached down and helped adjust John’s hand again. I clenched my stomach. More

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