It was like that from the day we met. My best friend warned me. He said, “You can’t meet Irving,” I asked, "Why?" “Because you will have sex w...th him.” “What?! You are just jealous.” “No. I know you and I know him. You, two, will have sex.” Was I that promiscuous? Was I that desperate? Was he that hot? Nope. Chemistry. He was not striking. Neither was I. Nice looking, but not remarkable. Not hot. I liked him. He liked me. But that wasn’t the particular attraction. He was fun, considerate, even. “And what was it?”“All this time, I thought pain was something real, something that can be physically measured. But really, it is a perception and a reaction to an event. What those people did to her wasn’t what hurt her, it was how she perceived it and gave it meaning that caused the real harm. She wasn’t able to choose what happened to her, she didn’t get to choose to be raped, but the pain she felt was an illusion brought on by social stigma and social meaning. In reality, any act could have. More

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