. when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. ... opening day of deer season is reco...nized as an official church holiday. ... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." ... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. .... I was in no hurry, so I cleared my throat.“Excuse me, let me just say something. Everyone ... let’s have a big, fucking orgy and don’t worry about time, because we are outside of it, anyway. Let’s all get down and funky, guys and gals. A fucking clusterfuck, that’s the way to go. I can definitely see why Autumn here loves to be frozen,” I chuckled as I came inside Shelby at last, just after she squirted on me.“Oh ... God ... did I just get fucked? I was here to get my breasts autographed by. More

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