As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how m...ch wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning. Undoubtedly, this should allay fears at court about Blakeslee Keep, and keep things quiet until after the wedding.I hurried up the steps to Lord Bushton's sick room. Elbert greeted me with the news that nothing had changed in here. I gave him the potion from Granny Eltman with her instructions and told him that a meal would be sent to him. I also told him about the noise he had heard at the front gate and how we worked that out. He breathed the same sigh of relief that we all had and settled. More

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