Fear of the probability that I am losing Laurence. Sadness over the fact that such a beautiful, raw relationship was so short lived.“Listen, Laurenc...,” I say in a low, urgent whisper. “I love you. I love you so much, it actually scares me. I’ve never loved someone like I love you. I really don’t deserve someone like you.” I pause as my voice breaks and my throat tightens even more. “I love you so much that I would never want you to be unhappy. If that means letting you go so that you can be. “I’ll pick you up at seven then,” I lingered with my response.“It’s a date,” she perkily answered, using the counter to prop herself up.I couldn’t believe it, she said it, not me. A date, finally, a date with Meredith. We had been good friends, as long as I could remember. I had dreamt of this moment for so long, a date, and now that we were finally out of college it’s happening. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, and she could have very well been joking, but to me I internalized. More

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