He’ll be in to talk with y’all.”“Pain meds?”“Hon, you got that ‘nurse’ look to you...”“RN,” I said.She smiled. “I can tell. Ye...h, we got Demerol on the list for pain.”“Can I go see ‘im?”“Wash your hands first, go see ‘im, then sanitize when you come back out.”“I’m familiar,” I said.“Sure, hon.”I left the nurse’s station, walked up the hall, gently opened the door. I never stop marveling about how small and frail a human can look when he’s framed by a hospital bed. This guy, healthy, robust,. I looked away from the sunset at that point, and looked at his face. He had that blank expression which is so painfully difficult to read."It's just," he suddenly blurted out, and then ran out of steam, "oh, I dunno." Andy, you don't have to tell me if you don't want-," I started."No," he said, interrupting, "I want to tell you. I have to tell you. Too many secrets, you know how it is," he added, risking a smile.Another long silence. After a while I opened my mouth to speak, but he waved me. More

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