That was what kept me coming back. I needed to feel that, even if just for a little bit. That seduction was what kept me from running away; the promis... of something beautiful in my life. But it was killing me, too. Not just my body, but my heart. Giving up so much of myself just for that fix. When I wasn’t high I began to despise myself. That’s why I’d let myself get caught. Seattle, Summer ‘09 I’d thought about her more than once. Just random thoughts like, I wonder how she’s doing. I could. 51, 52, 53, 54. New record. My vision blurry. 55, 56. His voice from far away. 57, 58. It’s getting darker. 59, 60. Just before I blacked out, Andy pulled the dildo out and released my head. I sucked in the air and took a couple of deep breaths. My vision came back and I could hear my own breaths. I coughed hard, saliva dripping out of my mouth into my lap. Andy pulled back my head and grabbed my jaw. Pressing in my cheeks, I opened my mouth and he poured in some oil. What is he up to? I wanted. More

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