My daughter wanted to hurt me - figuratively and physically. I head read how Jackie wanted to see me crying in humiliation and pain, to hear my beg he... 'to make it stop'. She wrote about her rape fantasies - where she tied me up and pissed on me, had a stray dog have intercourse with me. She hated me with a passion that tore my heart out and left fear in its wake. If there was any positive note about what she wrote - is that she had no idea how to get this revenge, or control, over me. Jackie. " The second thing is that, the first time he goes into you, it will hurt. Don't shirk your duty. Don't beg him for a delay. It will hurt tonight, but it won't hurt any less tomorrow night. And it will hurt that way only once. It isn't the worst pain you'll ever feel. Remember getting thrown from the horse?" Yes, Mother." She'd been thrown more than once, but Mother must mean the time she'd broken her arm. Was mother saying that tonight would hurt like that? She'd heard about the pain. Most of. More

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