But it was like I was so remote from him and everybody else too. It didn’t help that I had all those things in my head about Mom and Dad either. I w...s a mess. I wanted to be a good mother but I was so sensitive, I couldn’t nurse Alyssa without crying from the pain. When I started getting irritable to boot, well…Mark took to giving Alyssa her formula and changing her more often than I did and walking around with her in his arms when she fussed. I don’t think I got up a single time at 2:00 AM. After a while he began talking about how he wanted to make the pictures. He took his equipment and instructed me in which position I had to stand. I still had my clothes on but after a while he asked me if I could take of my shirt, and then my shoes, trousers, socks, untill I was standing in my underwear (gray boxershort). Eventually he asked me to remove the boxershort; there I stood naked. I was pretty turned on as he were, I could see a bulge down there. He instructed me to sit on my knees. More

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