” “Thank you, professor.” I had no idea of what she was talking about. The only thing that came to mind was that she would limit my final grade ...o a B. Better that, than failing. “Don’t thank me until you find out what my conditions are.” She opened a desk drawer and took out a magazine. She held it up and said, “Have you ever seen this?” Indeed I had. It was National Lampoon's “Back to College” issue from the previous year. The most notable thing about it was the cover drawing, in full color,. When I joined my wife and daughter in the living room,Elaine looked me over with a critical eye."You look great!" she said, approvingly. "And what a voluptuous figure!I'm jealous!" Well," I said, sitting down carefully, "all you need to do is getyourself a steel boned corset like mine. Then you too can have a twenty-eight inch waist."As well as giving me an hourglass figure, the corset also compressed mystomach so much that I didn't feel very hungry. I made do with a lightsalad for lunch, and a. More

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