I’m now much more aware of the need to both make characters somewhat relatable, and do have a character arc or story separate from the main narrativ.... This is going to be the main thing I work on during Elfish Descent. As an example, I am really not very satisfied with how the Katerei and Gorath storyline played out. I fell into the Shyamalan trap of having a twist for the twists sake. By the time I got to chapter 11 or so, I realized that the big reveal that Kat and Gor were spies would have. Her right nipple became hard. She was holding her breast pressing it to man’s face. He sucked and sucked.. until she finally pulled back. His face was reddish. His breathing was shallow and fast. Now he wanted more! Sally dropped down a quick look and spotted a nice bulge that was starting to form on his dark blue working pants. She bit her down lip and pulled the left cup of her sexy bra now taking out her other breast. This time the nipple was already hard with cute red tip and pink areola.. More

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