I think I drove that stretch to her apartment more slowly and carefully than I ever have. ‘Only turds drive with two hands, Kyle. Gees.’ Kiki was ...oing Shelly Marsh from South Park, who wears braces, not a halo–but it worked anyway. ‘Thanks for the safety tip, sis. You suck.’ I was doing lifelong geek desperately trying not to frighten away epic babe–but it worked anyway. ‘That’s what I said, dorkus.’ She slurped from the sides of her mouth for the win. She lived in a one-bedroom near Diversey.. I decided to walk over to Troy and wake him up first. As I walk to him, he sort of rolled and his blanket fell. I was shocked to see that my little brother, Troy, was wearing a pajama and that he did not sport any bulge at all! I stared for about 4 seconds until my mother shouted again and I woke them up for breakfast. During breakfast, my mother announced that tomorrow there would be guests that would stay in our house. This means that I will sleep in my brothers’ room. I said “great..”. More

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