Kelly and I had lunch together and then I headed for one sanctuary where no one bothered me – the Natatorium. I lifeguarded until five o'clock. It l...ft me time to think more about my dilemma.I had gay sex, albeit briefly. Maybe I could live with that. The thing that bothered me more was the fact that it felt good when Mark fucked my ass. Was I gay? Were all my attempts to build permanent relationships with Penny, then Julie and now Kelly a way to seem straight the way the world expected me to. “I’ll walk you home,” I said.“A chentleman,” she said. “It’s chust around the corner.”In fact, her hotel was in the same street as mine, and when I went to shake her hand and say goodnight she held onto me and said, "You can come up if you like. My manager and his wife had to go back today. So I’ll be home and out of harm’s way. Won’t I?”I smiled, putting just a touch of enigmatic into the openness.Up in her room, she put some music on her iPod through a little Bose speaker and we sat together. More

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