I reached in my bag for a possible weapon and felt something hard andcylindrical.I continued retreating from him but then stopped, there would be noch...nce of escape if I let him force me into a corner."OK, OK, I can see now that my options are limited," I said as Istarted unbuttoning my blouse.My potential rapist stopped moving towards me, and a big smirk spreadacross his face."You learn fast." Yes, I do," I replied, smiling sweetly at him."OK, my time is short, so get everything off and lean. "Are you sure it can talk?" Of course I'm sure, who do you think was bidding against you? The silly bird never learnt to count past ten or we'd still be here."So Pastor Jones, slightly put out, took the bird home and at first it was a great novelty ... BUT: it turned out the bird's previous owner was a sailor on a tramp freighter and he had taught the bird to speak with his own tendency to foul (no NOT fowl you idiots) language ... after three or four very embarrassing incidents... (Including. More

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