I miss it and I know he misses me even more because he is healthy and normal. I've tried to help him by offering myself but he doesn't want to use me... he won't even let me use my hand on him or give him oral sex. He thinks it would take too much of my energy and doesn't want to take chances. I tried to talk him into finding a girlfriend or even going to Evergreen Park and pay a woman but he won't. He won't fuck anybody else while I am here, he's keeping himself until I get better. You can't. Unfamiliar. Ugh, why am I being sucha mess right now, right here? I'm such a stupid bitch. I hope he can'tread my face, I must look like such a ditz. What's he saying? "Hey."Well, this is awkward. Better keep this conversation going, don't wanthim to think I'm an idiot. "What brings you over here?" I smile.Why do even my lips feel weird? I'm smiling, and I know it's sincere, butit feels like it's fake and I'm using someone else's mouth. Like theyshouldn't be so full and sensitive, like I feel. More

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