The Groping IncIdent had reputedly taken place with some dreamy guy Id met on holIday in the Highlands when I was 16. I had a fully developed plot/ in...epth characterisation and even photographic evIdence (an out-of-focus picture of me hugging my cousin Philip the previous Christmas). Of course nobody bought any of this but it was better than no story at all. So. Friday night. Janice and I are in my untidy wee bedroom in our underwear trying on things to wear to the party. Ive taken down the. They weren’t doing anything to leave obvious marks on my face or body, but it was still painful. I really couldn’t figure out what was motivating them or what would make them stop. So on Friday afternoon after I picked myself up off the ground I said, “Come on guys, there has to be some way I can get you to quit kicking my ass every day. Would you at least meet me on the corner tomorrow at noon so we can talk about it?” Randall looked at me menacingly and said, “Okay boy, but you better be on. More

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