The worst thing on my mind was the realization that the weather only seemed to worsen. Hour by hour I stumbled on, feeling more dismal with each step....I constantly collided with rocks and stumbled, but knew I had to go on. Once again, I banged into a tall, hard surface and fell to my knees. Tears welled up in me, and I began beating on the damned hindrance. After an eternity of frustration I suddenly stopped. This was no rock. My hands should be bleeding and torn. This was wood. A timber wall. . I started cybering with other men, jacking off with one hand and typing with the other. This was extremely difficult to do at home and I had to choose my moments wisely. How I never got caught is beyond me. These thoughts and fantasies came and went over the years but each time they returned, the feelings were more intense and urgent. It was as if I sensed that time was passing by and action was in order. I started checking out the "man looking for man" internet search sites, looking for guys. More

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