I guess I'd better start at the beginning as I try and sort out in my mind as to the how's and why's of the tale.My name is Jason, I'm aged 15 and I'm...doing OK at school, though my Dad keeps telling me he had it much harder and that the exams were tougher and that everything was better when he was growing up. I try to keep a straight face these days as when I was rooting around in our loft I found his exam results and frankly he didn't do all that well, harder exams or not. Still he holds down. Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don't work.What did the pirate say when he turned 80?Aye Matey.To the handicapped guy who stole my bag--You can hide but you can't run.I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish.And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"But John came fifth, and won a toaster.Q: How do you think the unthinkable?A: With an itheberg.Someone stole my mood ring.I don't. More

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