"They've got lots of topless beaches, in the Caribbean," I said."Not topless! Nude!" Hmmm. I don't know. You've got a lot more to be showing off, on a...nude beach, than I do," I said."You got hang-ups about people seeing your Nether Appendage, here?" she asked, taking the aforementioned appendage into her hand and squeezing it gently."Well, if you had spent as much time in the Orioles' locker room as I have," I told her, "you'd be aware that I am not leading the American League in nether. A woman at the bar turned and looked at me and said, “About time you showed up.” I looked over and it was Alicia. I gave her a look as first of all I tried to remember how I knew her and then wondered what she meant by her comment. I got my beer and walked over to sit down next to her. I asked her what she meant and she informed me that Tonia had called her and asked if she would be my wife’s stand-in for dinner tonight.Now this was a little far-fetched for me. Tonia is far from a prude. More

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