Two. One. Happy New Year!” The amplified chimes of Big Ben filled the room, accompanied by cheers, the clinking of glasses, the downing of drinks, t...e shaking of multiple hands and the kissing of multiple cheeks. There were more than a few kisses from unfamiliar lips too and the fondling of unfamiliar bottoms, including my own but the first of January dawned with my lovely wife in my arms, her lips on mine. The band struck up the intro to ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and within seconds a long line of tarts. The funeral was held at the crematorium, and after the last of his family had gone, some of which neither Beryl nor Roger had ever seen before, proving conclusively the old adage; when there`s a will there`s a relative… as hopefully they had all convened like a flock of vultures, all leaving empty handed, just as Melvin, the husband had intended. The house now seeming empty and very quiet. As they cleared away the funeral tea the three fell to talking about what to do now, Melvin for all his. More

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