What made the experience different that first time wasn't the sex, or the novelty, it was our relationship as friends. I think we could agree that you...loved me as a friend. No, you loved me full stop; you didn't use me. I missed you so much afterwards, and I knew it was my own fault."It came home to me at your place last May. We hadn't seen each other for ten years and yet I felt completely relaxed with you, as if we'd aways been close instead of cut off. I felt safe, secure, and I think I knew. Having built up to the moment, we got adjoining rooms. I don't believe we really fooled half the training class, but we did maintain the pretense. The first night we arrived, we were prepared. Bottles of liquor were purchased, and we spent the evening drinking and conversating with two others in our class. All so very casual, in "Bob's" room. Well, after a fifth of Goldshlagger, everyone had an incredible buzz, and no one was feeling any pain. 'Bob" and "Goldie", our two co-workers, not prone. More

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