Intrigued and excited, I clicked on a few other filenames to find more images, all of me, all taken by the pool. My legs looked long but incredibly sk...nny, my bottom bony. In every case, the words that most accurately described the images were ‘revealing’ and ‘sexy’ – at least what qualified as sexy for a woman my age and body shape.I clicked through a few more, to find myself in the same bikini but this time on my back.I shuddered with embarrassment as I saw my swollen, bare, obviously. Just in the middle of that thought, a silence abruptly entered my consciousness. It was a deafening internal silence. There had always been some sort of resonating noise or background sensation of an impending attack, but it had vanished. All signs of the intense spasms I had been experiencing for months were completely gone for some reason. I felt apprehensive yet almost normal. It was a very liberating feeling, so familiar for the first forty years of my life. Life before what I called the. More

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