And in the middle of the table itself, mostly covered by yet another towel, was my poor cat, unmoving."Oh," burst out of me inadequately. I stopped de...d still for a moment and stared.What in God's name had I done?Last night's dream flooded back to me. It had all seemed so vivid. Somehow I must have started sleepwalking, and got up and grabbed the cat and put him on the table and——and cut him up and killed him!What the hell kind of man was I to have done such a thing? What kind of evil, vicious. In addition to feeling plain ole excited and turned on, I was alsofeeling proud of myself, not because I was pulling the wool over Mr.Edwards eyes but because I sincerely felt proud to be expressing myselfas an older woman. Being Nancy was as much of a labor of love as it wassexually stimulating.I devoured the attention and respect Mr. Edwards was pouring on me. Theman had just lit my cigarette. Would he have done that for a teenageboy? I didn't think he would. But Mr. Edwards didn't see me. More

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