“I’m gonna have to check you for a weapon. Standard procedure, you understand.”“Of course, officer, whatever you have to do,” I said, holdin... back laughter at my own breathy voice. I wasn’t sure if it was doing anything for him, but at least it made it clear I was playing along. He stepped forward and placed his hands on my hips. I looked at him over my shoulder as he ‘patted me down’. His hands went from my hips and down each leg, patting his way down with both hands on either side of my left. They made a point of having one or both of them observing an auction held by a sheriff known to be on the take. If the sheriff started to cheat, they simply shut off his air supply so that he could not speak. This usually distracted him enough that an honest bid could be entered. No official was ever actually suffocated by this little ploy, but a few came very damned close to it. It usually didn't take long for the sheriff to realize that it was his shady dealing that was causing his breathing. More

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