As a total atheist I deplore the whole idea of religion but funeral services are the worst. Stephanie was gone, not to somewhere greater, just gone; n...t because it was a god's wish but because I was jealous and petty. In many respects I should not have attended but knew that had I not my mother would have been very disappointed. I also needed some sort of closure and hoped that this could help provide it. Another attack of anger surged through me for entirely different reasons, when I saw Susan. "Because I'd be being unfaithful to you." Why? Have I been unfaithful to you marrying Tamsin?" No!" So why would you be unfaithful to me by marrying Andrew?" B-because of my vow never to fall for another man." Gran told me that Andrew had persuaded you to renounce that vow." He did but that allowed me to realise that I still loved you." Kate, my precious Kate, I have never stopped loving you, deeply loving you, but we agreed that it was a hopeless love. Nevertheless I put it behind me and. More

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