What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still b... here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer. .. as ‘the boss’ she felt she sort of belonged to me.Now I have always been a bit slow on the uptake and I wasn’t quite sure if I had understood correctly. But before I could ask her anything she filled in the details. She handed me an envelope with some pictures, just a few but they made a clear statement. They were of her in very provocative attire and pose. As I perused them and looked her and then perused them again in words of one syllable she said she would make herself available to me,. More

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