"Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams..."I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit. Lila pushed him away, ‘Please, I can’t.’ She whispered. Michael moved back up her body to give her a kiss, ‘It’s okay princess, now it’s my turn.’ Lila tasted herself on his tongue then his words sank through, she pushed him back ‘No, we’re not married, we can’t.’ Michael grinned, ‘After all that? No baby, it hurts the first time, we do it this time and there will be no pain on our wedding night or honeymoon.’ ‘But you didn’t want to marry me, I heard what you were saying to grandmother.’. More

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