He was looking a bit pale but Iquietly performed my rituals, touched his feet and drank the water fromhis hands. I was keeping my coldness and then sl...wly started to walkaway.Pooja stopped me and then she said, "Shalu, you cannot be so coldhearted towards Raj, see he has come to you and instead of owning him orhugging him or loving him, you are walking away, Raj loves you and youwont believe that last week when I told him that you would be doing thisritual and keeping a fast for one day, he has. I shiver, wanting for a moment to claw them back and scream that they’re mine, but it’s too late. He draws more out of me, things I never knew about myself, things I see instantly and then forget as they leave me. I feel like there are only shadows left inside me, and I know this is all wrong and it’s not a transcendent and mystical experience at all, it’s vampiric and perverse and I can’t stop him and this isn’t a trip at all, this isn’t the drugs, oh god it’s all real and this thing is taking. More

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