Now there was no one. The only people who knew were Anna, Erika and Beth.Anna and Erika had been snatched away, and Beth was lying in a coma.Mums word... as she lay dying drifted through my grief stricken brain, 'Youmust tell Dad about Jill'. How could I do that? Dad was a very open andunderstanding person, but he'd just lost his wife and his daughter waslying unconscious. How could I tell him that his son liked dressing as agirl? No, it was best that Jill died with mum. I could be Bill. I HAD. Three and later four and five of you instead of two. It’s deep and fulfilling but different, very different.She changed too; changed her view of herself, wouldn’t dress up the same, saw herself differently, didn’t become immune to romance but laughed it off, made it seem less relevant and put herself down."Mutton dressed as lamb," she’d say. I hated that expression. I’d heard her mother say the same thing and those ideas are hard to shake. Two years and a hysterectomy after the last baby it all. More

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