. I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a l...ght bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration. My cell phone rang just as I was getting clear of the neighborhood."This is Candy." Hey, this is Zach. I have some information, but it's going to cost you."I smiled. "Hey, big man. Do you take barter?" Dinner? Sure, but I pick the place," he responded."Deal. Spill it." Nope," he said with a grin in his voice. "I'll reveal all over steaks."I raised an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it. "Sounds like you've got something good. Where and when?" Well, I wouldn't say it's good but it's. More

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