I needed purpose. I was thirty years old, divorced and without a career. I didn't count framing houses or carrying hod a career. I'd lived off the lan..., worked on a ranch, and failed at marriage and business. I was aimless, without long-term goals. And gambling held no interest for me. I wanted to be an important man, make a difference in the total scheme of things, which to my way of thinking back then meant that I'd need to be a wealthy man.Won't be too difficult to get rich, I told myself,. "Oh my gosh,"I struggled to the edge of the bed and set my feet down on the carpet.I had to see what I looked like. I pushed up, having to strain alittle. It felt totally different. My balance was wrong. I got upright,swaying, then staggered to the bedroom door, went down the corridor,gripping the banister desperately. I leant against the bathroomdoorframe to catch my breath. My whole body was weak, like every musclehad been overstrained. I rested my hand on my chest, took a deepbreath, then. More

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