I started cybering with other men, jacking off with one hand and typing with the other. This was extremely difficult to do at home and I had to choose...my moments wisely. How I never got caught is beyond me. These thoughts and fantasies came and went over the years but each time they returned, the feelings were more intense and urgent. It was as if I sensed that time was passing by and action was in order. I started checking out the "man looking for man" internet search sites, looking for guys. I remember you chilled for a while smiling and meditative on a big boulder up by the Falls with your shirt off: seeing how ripped you were and knowing how much the girls liked you, I was a little envious (I didn’t enjoy the trip at all.) Later that year, I went to Paul Thurston’s party at the Running Y: I brought a bottle of champagne. Paul was kind of stoked to party with me and we drank together. Max Crismon, who since fought in Iraq, was there and obviously having fun. You were in a locked. More

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