? She does have a recurrent,unspeakable fantasy about physical harm: starving his brain of just the rightamount of oxygen, killing just enough brain c...lls so that he can tell that hehas lost a fair chunk of intelligence.?His anticipatory fear would be something to behold, and later she wouldbe able to taunt him about his new, stupid self.? Plus, she could use the threat of furthersuch ?treatments? to ensure his compliance.?But the fantasy tends to lose much of its power as she considers. Finally, finally that night, Sara emailed me.She told me that I could redeem myself, but I had to do exactly as shesaid.I was to put on my pink thong, the pink stockings, and the pink camisole,under a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants and be at her bedroom, usingthe exterior steps at 10:00 PM that night.As I drove over to Sara's I felt like a little kid under her control.The truth be told, I was excited to be under Sara's control. It was hardto explain, but I believed I found where I belong!. More

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