I realized that I wasn't as done being afraid as I'd thought. While we were talking together in the restaurant, she'd made me feel safe. As soon as ...he was gone, so was the safe feeling. She was too pretty and I was still full of fear. I hated my ex wife for the way she left me._________ Wednesday night Phone sex: The first thing she said when I answered the phone Wednesday night was, "Are you doing okay?" I told her that after she'd driven away I was surprised to. I had quite a bit to drink and perhaps I was slurring my speech a bit. I think perhaps I wasn't as graceful as I was at the beginning of the night. I probably should have stop drinking. But the guys wouldn't stop coming on to me. They would buy me a drink while they worked up their nerve to ask me to dance. So it went through the night, I would dance a few dances then drink a little. It was a good arrangement. I looked at my watch and decided the night was about over. Most of the guys had. More

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