In my way. I couldn't get past it.I left the door open and got on my bed. I did cry and didn't want to, but I couldn't stop. I wanted to go to that ot...er place. My bedroom was ugly and lonely and there was nothing here I liked. Jimmy's room had been nice and clean, his bed so warm and he'd been cute and so much like me and ... I fell asleep thinking I'd dreamt all of it and that wasn't fair."Hey ... Jilly..." Someone touched me and I screamed because I thought it was my dad. I slapped at him as. Maybe it was a short-lived Twilight Zone thing that was finally over.No, that wasn't true. Whatever it was that had brought out such passionate play, it lingered. I knew because when thinking about any of the women I had been with, it was like thinking about a new girlfriend. That buzz of excitement that runs through your body knowing someone finds you fascinating enough to want to talk and touch and do other things together. I felt it for each of them with a distinction like the varied flavors. More

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