I say something stupid about the view and Tom asks me to help him get some drinks. I follow Tom to the left of where we entered; there is a railroad k...tchen with a small table at the end and another great view of the city. Tom asks me what I would like – I say wine but they do not have white. He says how about a gin and tonic. I reply “that’s good.” As Tom is about to hand me my drink he leans in and kisses me. I kiss back. As I am feeling good, I am getting aroused which I think he realizes as. To be a whole person again. To be a real person with a life again. To be what used to be me. I wonder about a life that can never be now. A life that, that by contrast, is so different than what I have now. I can not hope for this to be as I would like it. Doing so would mean not considering you and your situation. So instead I attempt to get through the day as best I can. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets. More

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