She really was dead to him. He heard a sob from Ellen.I won’t be dead to her though, Jake sent to Jan. I think from her perspective it will be like...I am always just out of touch. She’ll only be able to read me when I’m not focused on her. She’ll be able to eavesdrop on my life but never communicate directly with me. In a way, that will be a relief.Why would you say that? Jan said.Because, to me, it’s the simple truth when I say she is dead to me. This new reality spares me, the old Jake, from. But that is a subject for another blog.One of the many things Lauren and I would fight about was her driving fifty or so miles one way to go pick up a friend of hers ("V") and lug him around (he didn't have a car) to run errands when she was pregnant and working 12 hour shifts. Now, I am not stupid, and wondered at times if she wasn't fucking him but tried to put that out of my mind as not being any of my business since we weren't dating.Fast forward, the baby is born and we effectively live. More

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