But Sylvia said that wasn't it. She talked more and more about these people, and wanted me to join them one Wednesday evening. I kept begging off. I w...sn't spooked by the sex issue any more, not after Sylvia described the relationships more clearly, and talked about how she'd learned to see her own relationship with me more realistically, thanks to their counsel. I just sort of held off for no good reason.Then, one Saturday, Sylvia announced we were going to Ned and Toni's for the afternoon and. I wasn’t ready, but I no longer had any say in that.I could feel it pushing forward, spreading me, finally popping the head inside. I’d never even put a hairbrush or candle up there like most of my friends. I wanted to save that prize for either the one I married or someone I lusted over with great passion, like Thran Raider, the singer on stage. Well as much as I wanted that, I knew at then moment that I wasn’t going to get it. It was going to be some old rando who caught me in a vulnerable. More

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