I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to beg...n with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer. How wrong I wasI walked into the lounge, the scene of so much humiliation and discomfort over the last months, to find my Master sitting in a chair. He looked at me and in a rage said"what the fucking hell are you doing in here you pathetic queer boy" My cheeks reddened with shame as he launched a tirade of abuse, the like of which I had never encountered before. "Fuck off back to the porch and behave properly you cunt" he hissedI went back, rang the door bell and waited...what seemed to be. More

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