I posted the story, it was a little out of place because the site specializes in erotica, but they allowed about anything legal to be posted.It was up...for less than eight hours and I started getting emails. Most were complimentary but several with some sincere criticism. I went back and did a thorough spell and punctuation check, and fixed some run on sentences, also paragraphs were too long. One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf. Jabwo jane lagi to maine uske gaalo par kiss kiya halke se uske dhodh daba diye … fir wo kuckh din mere flat par nahi aayi bus hamari phone par hi baate hoti … subaah utha do dekha ki badal gire hue h mai tayar ho kar collage ke liye nikala to dekha ki uski family kahi bahar ja rahi h ..Maine usko call ki to usne bataya ki use parents ek ristedaar ke yaha ja rahe h sham taka a jaye ge or usne bataya ki wo nahi ja rahi h … phir maine collage jana cancel kar diya or vapas aapne flat me aa gaya ... More

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